she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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