Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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