finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
