there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
