Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
