Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
