I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
