you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
only if we run a train.
done.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
