That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
