Betty ford says i'm here all night
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
