wake up i wanna do it froggy style
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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