I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
