Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
