we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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