idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
