I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
