are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
