Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
