so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
