Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Who died my cat blue again?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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