i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
