Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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