Your mouth is God's brothel.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize