I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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