Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
