Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize