last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
