I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
