Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
