i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
