I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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