Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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