awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
