just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The air taste purple.
Randomize
