I think I died a long time ago.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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