wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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