margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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