I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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