saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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