My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
