I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As shirtless as possible
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
