You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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