it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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