Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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