Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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