Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
