It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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