i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
