I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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