why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The air was thick with penises
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
