when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
