$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think my mom watched the whole time
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
