it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
