I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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