You really coming over, don't trick.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
