hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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