Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
