Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize