im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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