Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
