Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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