so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
honey bunches of taint.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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