So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This is my gift to your gina
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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