? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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