I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize