Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
